Caramel Hearts Read online

  “You know you can’t keep nicking off school, right?” says Harriet, her best frown in place.

  “Right,” I agree, my head hung low.

  “I know you were trying to do something nice, and it’s good you’ve got an interest, but…”

  “But?”

  My voice is more defiant than I mean it to be, but there’s bound to be something bad coming. Like getting grounded or being walked to school to make sure I get there. For the rest of my life.

  “We have to keep our noses clean if we’re to keep things as they are.”

  “You don’t even want to be here!”

  It’s hard to keep my voice from wobbling. My head feels heavy, my heart heavier still, and my hands shake as I turn my back to my sister and start getting dressed. My shirt smells of wild flowers, and I breathe it in.

  “I’m sorry for what I said, but I was worried – what if the place burned down? With you trapped inside?” She reaches out and touches my shoulder. “Where would I be without my lil sis?”

  I pull away, but only because she’s making me feel bad. I’m the one that messed up, and she’s apologizing!

  “I’m sorry too,” I say, the words sticky in my mouth. My shoulders feel lighter as the words come out. “But it was an accident.”

  “I know that. But that doesn’t excuse—” She pauses, gathering herself. “You’ve got to start pulling your weight, Liv. Taking control of your own life a bit more. I can’t always be here to pick up after you and wash your clothes. You’re old enough to do it yourself.”

  “Fine,” I say. “Why didn’t you just say?”

  “I did,” she replies. “And I’m sick of repeating myself. Just do it, please.”

  As Hatty leaves, I spot the recipe book discarded on the floor, still open, and I blurt out, “What about the baking?”

  Suddenly, giving up doesn’t seem like an option. Why should I? The recipes are the only thing I’ve looked forward to in ages. And if I’m going to be treated like a slave, I might as well do something I enjoy.

  “What about it?” asks Hatty, pausing on the landing.

  “Will you still help me out?”

  Her eyes go wide and her eyebrows lift so high, they look like they’re trying to escape her forehead.

  “You’re kidding, right?”

  “No. You said—”

  “That was before you abused my good nature, played truant and almost burnt the place down.”

  “So you’re stopping me from doing the one thing I’m interested in? You’re always telling me to have more hobbies.”

  Harriet puts her hands on her hips.

  “I’m not stopping you, Liv. You want to bake, you bake. But you have to learn some sense of responsibility for your actions. So, you get the money for the stuff, and you can bake as much as you please. But not in school time, and not without me around. OK?”

  “How am I meant to get money, if not from you?”

  “Get a part time job. I used to babysit when I was your age.”

  “If only I was as perfect as you!” I say, and close the door in her face.

  * * *

  When I get to the traffic lights, my best friend Sarah is already waiting. Sarah’s face is flushed pink, and the dark shadows under her grey eyes show she’s had a restless night’s sleep. Her long, usually straight blonde hair sticks out like twigs. I know if I tell her she’ll get embarrassed and she’ll bite my head off. So I keep quiet, hoping she’ll notice it in the reflection of a car window instead.

  “Are you feeling better?” she asks.

  “Yeah. Sorry I’m late. I slept in.” I check my hair in the reflection of a car window. “Are you OK?”

  “I-I’m fine.” Worry always brings out Sarah’s stutter. Embarrassing situations and excitement too. I feel dead sorry for her, cos she can’t ever hide what she’s feeling. Sarah pauses, takes a deep breath and continues slowly. “M-Mam had a turn last night, but she’s OK now. It’s just… you know?”

  I nod. I know all right. We’ve been friends since primary school.

  “NFDN,” I say. No Further Discussion Needed. “Do you have running practice during lunch?”

  We always get our plan straight as we walk to school – especially when our timetables don’t match. For the last year, Sarah’s been having problems with one of our old friends, Madeline Delaney (who we’ve secretly started calling Mad Dog). Maddy’s from Egerton Mount, and her dad’s doing time for aggravated armed robbery. She’s tougher than steel, but we were best friends once. Mam used to call us The Three Amigos in primary school – we were inseparable. But she outgrew us. Myself and Sarah were still into dolls and making dances to our favourite songs when Maddy started kissing boys and having a cheeky fumble. Mam said it wasn’t her fault that she had to grow up fast. Now she’s mixed up with a bad crowd, so we only hang out now and again – when she’ll let me. Not with Sarah though. Never Sarah.

  “Yeah, I’m running. Meet me at the hall at 12.15 p.m.? We can go on first dinners.”

  It’s a mutually beneficial scam we’ve been pulling for months: the dinner ladies think I’m running too, so they let me in for the early sitting with Sarah. That way, Sarah has the backup she needs and I get fresher food.

  “Deal!” I say.

  We turn in the direction of school, taking the long way round across the open fields. Known locally as “the Rec”, most people avoid it because a cold wind always blows across its exposed grounds. As the wind blows, the scent of floral washing powder fills my nostrils.

  “Chris Murchison said he’d seen you yesterday, dressed as a clown.”

  I feel my face redden. “He’s an idiot,” I say.

  “Yeah, but cute,” says Sarah, a dreamy look on her face.

  Rolling my eyes is the only reaction I can muster.

  “Aw, c’mon, Liv – admit it. You must fancy him a little bit. Otherwise you’re not right in the head.”

  “Guess I’m not right in the head, then. Seriously – why would I fancy someone everyone else likes?”

  “Those big eyes, his posh accent, and he’s dead funny – Chris is the hottest guy I’ve ever seen.”

  “He’s an airhead. I’d have thought you’d know better.”

  “Well I’d have thought you’d know better than going after the same guy Maddy Delaney fancies.”

  Stopping in my tracks, I put my hand to my chest like I’ve been shot in the heart.

  “Why would you say such a thing?”

  “Are you still denying you fancy Jack Whitman? I’ve seen the way you gawk at him.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  “You go weak at the knees every time you see him.”

  “I do not! What would be the point? Maddy’s much more popular. I’ve never even been kissed and she goes all the way.”

  “So you have been considering the idea…” coaxes Sarah.

  “All right,” I say, waiting until Sarah goes quiet. “I guess he’s OK.”

  “I knew it!”

  “But you keep your mouth shut! If Maddy finds out, she’ll kill me, then you, then him.”

  “I’d be first on the list,” says Sarah, glumly. “Come on, we’d better get a move on.”

  Hunkering down into our summer jackets, we speed up. It’s nearly the end of May but the wind is harsh. Mam always says the landscape matches the lives of the people here: wild and brutal. But I think it’s all right. At least it’s consistent, and when your cheeks sting and your eyes water, you feel alive.

  * * *

  “Sorry about yesterday, miss – I was sick,” I say to my form teacher, Mrs Pearl, as I breeze my way past her.

  I’m chatting happily with Sarah when a shadow looms over me. It’s Mrs Pearl.

  “Liv, can I have a word?”

  “Yes, miss.”

  “Outside the class,” she says, motioning to the door.

  Someone in the class whistles, like I’m really in for it. Sarah gives me a quizzical look and I give her a sly shrug of the shoulders.
I wait outside the door, fiddling with my tie, while Mrs Pearl gives the class some instructions. When she joins me, her face is full of concern.

  “Would you like to tell me what’s going on?” she says.

  “I— Erm— About what?”

  “Your sister called and said she caught you playing truant yesterday. Is this true?”

  I flip my tie over my hand as I stare at her dumbly. Betrayed by my own sister.

  “What’s going on, Liv?” asks Mrs Pearl, even though it’s none of her business. “Should I be concerned?”

  I shake my head. Why did Hatty do such a stupid thing? Why can’t she colour outside of the lines sometimes?

  “It won’t happen again, miss,” I say.

  I just hope Hatty hasn’t mentioned the fire. Mrs Pearl would freak and she’d be bound to tell someone. It’ll all get out of hand – and we all know where that will lead. Back in care.

  “Do you want to talk?”

  I shake my head. I’m sick of talking. Hatty, my counsellor Rachel… where does it ever get us?

  “Well, I’d like you to see the head teacher,” says Mrs Pearl.

  “But there’s no need!”

  “At school, we have a duty to look after you, Liv. I understand you’re going through a difficult time, but if you won’t talk to me… I’ll make an appointment for you to see Mr Morrelly at twelve o’clock sharp.”

  Before I can return to class, the bell rings for first lesson. My form class nudge their way past me – some glancing, some staring, all trying to figure out what’s going on. I spin on my heels and head down the corridor towards Science, pretending I can’t hear Sarah when she calls my name.

  Chapter Six

  My Cool Stakes Will Fly through the Roof

  When I knock on Mr Morrelly’s office door at 12.03 p.m., I feel like I’m about to be sent down for a crime I didn’t commit. Hatty owes me big time.

  “Come in,” calls a deep, thundering voice.

  Mr Morrelly – Old Mozzer to us – is a giant. He’s well over six foot. It must be difficult to find clothing that fits because all his suits have weird collars and look like they’re from the seventies. He has massive, thick glasses and his hair sits in clumps on his head like a heron. Despite being head teacher, he’s all right. As all right as a head teacher can be. But he has this annoying habit of pacing when he’s cross. It’s a dead giveaway. I take a deep breath and push open the door. Thankfully, he’s seated with his hands clasped on his desk. I let out my breath and stand in the middle of the room, swapping from foot to foot.

  With his back to the window and his face in shadow, Mr Morrelly looks even bigger than normal, and when he gestures for me to sit down, his hand looks massive, reminding me of the BFG. I have to fight to keep a smile off my face.

  “Olivia,” he says, in that way which makes it sound like I should be able to read his mind and tell him instantly whatever it is that he wants to know.

  “Yes, sir?”

  “Home. How are things?”

  “Fine, sir.”

  “And Harriet?”

  “Fine, sir.”

  “Mrs Pearl – she says there have been some… issues. Anything you’d like to discuss?”

  “No, sir.”

  He stares at me for a while and I feel his eyes bore into me. I imagine them coming out on mechanical stalks and tunnelling their way up my nostrils, right into my brain, so he can see the blind panic racing through it. I fight to stay calm but I feel my armpits heating up and turning sticky.

  “Very well. But your grades could do with a bit of improvement – and playing truant won’t help. I have my eye on you.” I squirm in my seat as he peers over his thick rims. Then his tone relaxes. “Your well-being is our first priority – so if you ever feel the need to come and talk, to let off some steam, you know where I am.”

  “Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Is that all, sir?”

  He pauses for a bit too long, and as a throbbing feeling attacks my temples, I imagine his mechanical eye-stalks retracting and taking a wrong turn, bumping into my brain.

  I’m so busy daydreaming, I don’t hear his dismissal.

  “I said yes, Olivia, that is all,” he repeats, a mild frown on his face as I turn and scurry away.

  * * *

  My throat goes dry as I leave the office behind – so much for keeping our noses clean. Hatty’s stupid phone call has got me walking around with bells and whistles on. I blow air upwards, across my face, hoping my skin hasn’t turned blotchy like it usually does when I stress out.

  That’s the trouble with being a redhead – you have the delicate skin to go with it. As I turn into the busy corridor, head bowed, I bump straight into someone – Chris bloody Murchison – and then rebound into his mate.

  “Sorry!” I say.

  It’s only Jack Whitman. There’s no hiding the colour in my cheeks now.

  “It’s OK. I like being a human domino.”

  I laugh way too loudly, and immediately wish I could stuff the sound back in my gob. I can’t believe Jack is talking to me. Neither can Chris – he tries pulling Jack away, but Jack signals for him to go ahead.

  “You just been to see Old Mozzer?” he asks, pointing towards the head teacher’s office.

  I nod. I can imagine the stupid look on my face. I’m just pleased Sarah isn’t here. Sarah! I check my watch – I’m already ten minutes late. If I don’t hurry up, I’ll miss her.

  “What did you do?” continues Jack.

  “I’m innocent. I was just unfortunate enough to be born into a family of morons,” I say, hoping it sounds witty, if a little mean.

  Jack laughs. “That sounds serious. But honestly… Seems you’ve been getting it in the neck quite a bit recently.”

  And here’s me thinking Jack doesn’t even know I exist.

  “It’s too embarrassing to even bother explaining,” I reply.

  If I started walking towards the lunch hall, I should still be able to catch Sarah. But my legs are glued to the spot.

  “I could find a way to get it out of you.”

  Before I realize what’s happening, Jack reaches out and grabs me by the wrist. He tickles me under my armpit – of all places – with a big, soppy grin on his face. I can’t help screeching – but when the other kids turn to look, I don’t care. They’ll see I’m with Jack and my cool stakes will fly through the roof.

  Or at least they’ll move away from zero.

  “OK, OK! Mercy!” I cry.

  “Tell, or I keep going for ever.”

  I’m still giggling when Maddy pushes her way towards us – she must have finished her dinner already. She’s not particularly pretty, but she has perfect boobs and deep blue eyes, and is always dead trendy. She always wears the latest fashions because her mam’s best friends with the shoplifters. She even manages to make the school uniform look cool. Maddy’s eyes flick from my face to Jack’s questioningly, and my heart pumps in my chest. I can hear the blood in my ears.

  “What’s going on here, guys?” asks Maddy – all sweetness, but I can tell by the way her lips tighten in the corners that she’s livid.

  Whenever she pulls that face, I think about the time the three of us – me, Maddy and Sarah – were playing in the sandpit and her dad came early to take her home from school. Maddy refused to go and, when the teachers weren’t looking, he slapped her right across the face. She didn’t cry. Didn’t even make a noise, despite the raw, red handprint. Just pressed her lips together and followed him out of the room.

  “I’m holding Liv captive until she tells me what I want to know.”

  Maddy raises an eyebrow.

  “Why don’t you put the boy out of his misery?” she asks, but the tone is more of an order than a question.

  Jack doesn’t seem to notice. Mam always says men don’t pick up on subtleties.

  “I got caught nicking off school yesterday,” I say quickly.

  Jack lets go and feigns complete horror.

  “My word, Liv. I’m shoc
ked. That’s like so—”

  “Lame,” says Maddy.

  “It is a bit,” Jack chuckles, and turns to go, so I blurt out the first thing I can think of.

  “What they don’t know is that I set the house on fire.”

  A slight exaggeration, and hardly something I should share, but it makes Jack stop in his tracks. And Maddy too.

  “And Old Mozzer knows that?” asks Jack, his eyes widening.

  “Not exactly.”

  “Didn’t you know her mam’s an alky?” asks Maddy innocently.

  Her words cut right through me. Why would she say such a thing? I’d never bad-mouth her family like that, even though they’re way worse than mine. I know we’re no longer close, but still! I daren’t look Jack in the eye. That’s the last I’ll ever be talking to him then.

  “My dad was too,” says Jack. “But he’s off it now. So I know how it feels.”

  The way her face crumples, you’d think someone had hit Maddy head-on with a shovel.

  “You never told me that,” she says, linking his arm and pulling him away without a backward glance.

  I can feel the sense of victory fizzing off her – even though Maddy always makes sure she wins, she never tires of it.

  Giving them a few minutes’ head start, I go in search of Sarah – but I’m too late. I just hope she managed to keep out of Maddy’s way.

  * * *

  Sarah isn’t in our usual meeting spot at home-time, but I can see her blonde ponytail bobbing its way across the Rec, so I race to catch up with her.

  “Hey, am I late?” I ask, knowing full well that I’m not.

  Sarah keeps walking at top speed, her head down. I grab her by her jacket sleeve.

  “Hey, what’s going on?”

  When she looks up, there are tears streaking her cheeks.

  “Sarah, what’s wrong?” I say. “What happened?”

  “Your g-good friend, M-Mad Dog, that’s what,” she says. “I couldn’t wait for you, Liv. She said if she saw me after school, she’d kill me.”

  “I know she has a pretty nasty mouth on her, but she wouldn’t hit you. Her friends, maybe, but not—”